On Saturday, June 20th, Ho'oulu and I went to King Windward Nissan and visited his brother's old coworker Glenn. We talked about buying a car, test drove one, they ran my credit, big things were happening. I didn't want to make a decision without consulting with my financial advisor - aka Daddy! So we decided to sleep on the offer they had for us. After making a budget and really weighing my options, I realized we probably needed this car. We're poor, so this was really stressing me out. I didn't sleep very well and I woke up at like 7am. I immediately started texting my dad about the car again, not completely sold on it (our budget would be tight!). Ultimately, we needed a safe and clean way to get our baby home from the hospital, and anywhere else we plan on going haha. So I woke Ho'oulu up to wish him a happy Father's Day and tell him we're getting a car (he was sold already so my hesitancy was what was holding us back)! This was around 8am now. I tried to go back to sleep but I was kind of in a lot of pain. I hadn't really had much of the Braxton Hicks contractions, so I thought this baby was going to be weeks late and this must be that. But I was still a little wary! I woke Ho'oulu up again and said, "We might have a Father's Day baby!" They were happening pretty frequently, which I thought was strange because if it was the real thing, they'd start far apart and slowly get closer together, right? But Braxton Hicks were supposed to stop if you changed positions and these wouldn't go away no matter what.
Ho'oulu started coordinating our ride to King Windward Nissan and to the Father's Day party at his brother's house (since our car broke down we had to carpool). His sister was planning to leave around 2pm, which I thought might be a little late since we could have a baby today. I was saying it completely jokingly because oh my gosh, baby, no way is it really happening, but I really honestly thought so. I was in a lot of pain!
Around 9am I went to the bathroom and there it was, a little "bloody show," as the doctors had been calling it. It was just a light amount of blood mixed with snotty looking stuff (the mucus plug!). So I ran into the living room (grossly and embarrassingly) holding the tp yelling, "blood! Blood!" I showed Ho'oulu my bloody toilet paper and said, "we really are having a Father's Day baby!" We stared at each other and then I realized how gross what I just did was, so I went back to the bathroom and finished up there. We called his sister and arranged to leave for the dealership right away. We kind of messed up her plans for Father's Day, but she was super awesome about it and rearranged everything to take us. The drive there was absolute torture. I've never really experienced much pain, except that time I sprained my pelvis (long story short: I crashed sledding), so this was just about unbearable. I felt like I was going to puke it hurt so badly! My husband and sister-in-law were talking to each other and sometimes to me, and if I didn't reply my husband would get mad, like "don't just not talk because you don't want to. If you're not replying to us, it should be because you can't." And I wanted to say, "you wanna have the baby?!" But instead I said nothing. Because ow. So I kept waiting for the contractions to get more painful, though I absolutely could not imagine what that would feel like. We finally got to the dealership (and I was wearing basketball shorts and a giant tshirt) and met our friend Glenn, who had a better offer than the night before. Woohoo! So then another guy came in and said, "are you Cherisse? Come with me." I had no idea who he was or where we were going, but he took me to what appeared to be his office and he started giving me the paperwork to sign. I was all G until he started trying to sell me a warranty. I wanted to scream because ow, I couldn't think about money. The only reason it was okay that we were there was because I had taken the offer from last night and struck up a budget, and everything jived. So I asked if I could get my husband and he acted like it was weird that he didn't come in the first place, and I wanted to say, "you didn't tell him to come and we don't know who you are!" But whatever. I waited in his office in excruciating pain while he went and got Ho'oulu. We finished the paperwork, shook everybody's hands, and we were on our way. I hadn't felt baby move in over an hour and they told me I should be feeling her kick 10 times an hour, so I panicked and called labor and delivery. They said it's probably fine but better to come in and check up. When we got there, they checked and I was dilated to a 5. I wanted to scream; how could I be in so much pain and only be at a 5?! But that is considered active labor, so they let me stay. The nurse and OB also thought it was hysterical that I had just bought a car while in active labor... I certainly didn't laugh at the time.
There was a scheduled C-section about to happen so they told me I might have to get the epidural right away, or I'd have to wait an hour or two. I was praying so hard that the anesthesiologist had time for me first because OW! And he did. He came in and started prepping everything and I wanted to cry. I believe his name was Eric, and he was my new best friend.
I was absolutely terrified of getting the epidural. I knew I wanted it but actually getting it? Oh boy. So I didn't look at anything he was doing or getting ready. When it was time, they had my slouch and round my back like an angry cat. Ho'oulu and my nurse stood in front of me and held my hands and legs for comfort. I knew I couldn't move but I also knew a needle was coming at me! When he stuck me with the numbing needle, I totally jumped and straightened my back, so I was grateful that was just the numbing portion and not the real thing. So I felt a sharp stab as he put that in and then all of a sudden, he said he was done. I couldn't believe it! Not scary at all. Really great, actually! So he stayed a little longer to make sure it started working. It was amazing on the right side but I could still feel the contractions completely on my left side. The epidural works with gravity, so we rolled me over to my side (I needed help because I couldn't feel my right leg) and I waited and pressed the lovely button the shoots more epidural goodness into me. It won't administer more than once every 15 minutes no matter how much you push it so that you can't overdose.
So it eventually got to my left side and I was comfortable. I couldn't feel a thing and it was glorious! I took a long, awesome nap! Epidurals are beautiful things.
One of the many OBs I saw during pregnancy came in to check on me occasionally. Actually, she was one of my favorites. Her name is Bonnie I think, and she went to OSU! Anyway, she would check to see how dilated I was and if my water had broken. At one point I was a little wet but I had the epidural so I had no idea if it was pee or what, so I pressed the call button and told them my water may have broken, but when Bonnie checked she said the bag was still intact. Then another nurse came in and put in a catheter, which I thought sounded horrible before when I read about the pros and cons of the epidural, but I didn't feel a thing and the bag was attached to the side of my bed so I didn't even see it. I forgot it was there half the time!
Later when I was dilated to an 8 or 9, she checked my water bag and it popped at her touch. It had been bulging for a while, so she wasn't surprised. What did surprise her was the meconium. Sometimes a baby will have his/her first bowel movement while still in the womb. It's super nasty and kind of scary because then she could get poop in her lungs! So they have extra people come for delivery who will grab her as soon as she's out and suction her face and lungs to try and prevent her from breathing that in. If she comes out already crying then there's nothing they can do. So that was a little scary.
I was in labor for a total of about 12 to 13 hours from when the contractions got regular in the morning till birth. The entire time we were at the hospital, they were telling us how perfect everything looked, how healthy Baby was, how healthy I was, etc. The only concern the entire time was the meconium, so you can imagine our surprise when Baby's heart rate suddenly dropped. My epidural had been wearing off on the left side, so we decided to push the button one last time and put me on my left side so gravity would help us out (since I was at a 9 at this point, it would definitely be my last shot of epidural). When we rolled me over, that's when her heart rate plummeted. The first thing they did was have me reposition from side to side to see if that would help, then they gave me an oxygen mask. I could still feel the contractions on my left side, so strongly that my whole body had begun to shake and I threw up a couple times, so I did not like the oxygen mask. When those things didn't work they prepped me for an emergency C-section, which meant switching me from my bed to a gurney and taking me to the operating room and leaving Ho'oulu behind. This all happened in about 2 minutes. If her heart rate stayed low for a total of 5 minutes, they would proceed to cut her out. And it did. I hated the oxygen mask; it felt more like it was suffocating me. I heard the guy standing nearest my head asking if they should knock me out, and I wanted to scream yes! My whole body was still shaking and I wanted the mask off. I forgot in that moment that if I didn't get knocked out, I would get to hold Baby sooner. So when I heard him say, "we're going to put you to sleep now," all I felt was relief. Next thing I knew my bed was being wheeled through a hallway. The nurses above me were telling me everything went well, Baby is fine and with Daddy, I was all good, everything was great. I was incredibly groggy. My first words were, "does she have hair?" Haha I didn't realize that was so important to me! Why was that the first thing I said? But I was with the surgery team that had put me back together, so they hadn't seen Baby. The next thing I said was, "Does Kaiser do VBACs?"
Look, I want 8 kids. You can't have 8 c-sections, so if this is gonna work, I need to be able to have a lot of VBACs (vaginal birth after cesarean). The nurse said yes, and then I heard crying. I immediately began sobbing because oh my gosh, that little newborn cry was coming from MY BABY. I was also vaguely aware of other nurses and maybe doctors? All I saw was my husband and my baby. We immediately did skin to skin contact, which they usually prefer to do as soon as the baby is born, but I was in surgery. I didn't know any time had passed whatsoever, so I was very surprised at how clean and perfect this little human was! It wasn't until Ho'oulu said she'd been with him for about an hour and a half I remembered everything I had read about C-sections. He also told me then that he had sent a picture of her to our families. I was the last to see my own daughter and I was pretty crushed. It was so unfair. I wasn't the first face she saw when she opened her eyes, I wasn't the first voice she heard. I wasn't even the first person to see her (besides the delivering doctor, of course). At first I was angry with Ho'oulu for sending a picture to everyone while I was in surgery (and maybe I'm still a little bitter haha), but he was just excited and alone in his excitement. I should have been there to be excited with him.
So. Long story short: I got cut open, and now it hurts.
