Airplanes Are NOT the Shiz.

On an Airbus 330, there are two sections of 2 seats and a middle section of 4 seats. I don't know why, but they're AB CDEG HJ. So A and J are windows; B, C, G, and H are aisles; and that leaves D and E just on the inside with no benefits. Haha. I remember when I was in college and going back and forth between Oregon and Hawaii a lot, my mom would always make sure to get me a window seat! It was the greatest. Now that my husband works for the airlines and we fly for free, we don't really pick our seats. We often get first class, we often get aisles, and we often get inside seats. Of course, this is a FREE flight, and we fly standby so we are just thrilled to get a seat. Being pregnant makes everything a little more difficult, however... I am flying to Oregon right now, and I'm sitting in E. My bladder is already being smooshed, but baby has been particularly wiggly and has been punching and kicking my bladder harder than usual today, so I've almost peed my pants (dress) like 4 times already. The person next to me in the aisle (G seat - whatever happened to F and I in these labels I'll never know) is maybe 10 years old and his family is taking up the full row in front of us. Poor kid got booted to the next row. And I feel bad making him get up every time I have to go, so I've been trying to hold it. I have only gone to the bathroom once so far, and we've been flying for over 2 hours! This is a great accomplishment for me. Also, this kid speaks perfect Russian and English (and who knows how many other languages)... So feel bad about yourself. Haha. Unless you're European, then you probably also speak multiple languages (looking at you, Luisa!). 

Oh, and another reason airplanes are not the shiz is for regular reasons, like the person in front of me leaned all the way back, I was sitting behind a family with 4 kids (one of whom was a SCREAMING lap child), I couldn't get comfortable, not enough leg room, blah blah blah. But usually (when the person in front of me isn't leaning all the way back), I like to lay my head on my tray table. Now my stomach doesn't fold like that, so I was forced to sleep sitting up. 

And I was wearing a pre-maternity undershirt that was cutting off circulation. Too tight. Never again. 

I wonder how loose my shirt would have to be to get away with not wearing a bra in public. 

Padsicles!

One of my childhood best friends sent me this link, and I thought HOW GENIUS!!!! And also hysterical. And terrifying that I'll need something like this haha. But here is a link to a blog (that sounds much like this one!) that tells how to make padsicles:

http://lm.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.tallmomtinybaby.com%2F2013%2F05%2Fpadsicles-new-moms-perfect-companion.html%3Fm%3D1&h=sAQHbC7sI&s=1

To the Current Tenant of my Uterus:

Dear Miniature Human Growing Inside Me,  I am so happy that you are healthy and growing, stretching and learning to use all your muscles! But you happen to be resting right on my bladder, which I'd like to inform you is NOT a punching bag. And while it only kind of made me have to pee before, it's getting painful and making it almost impossible not to pee immediately. You may have noticed that I move around a lot during the day, and this is because I work full time. At no point would it be okay for me to pee immediately at work, as I have to walk a little ways to get to the bathroom. So darling daughter, be a gem; stop punching/kicking my bladder. 

I thank you and I love you,

Mom

Itchy & Scratchy

I have never experienced such discomfort. My butt is sooooo itchy. What's weird is all the sites and apps and things say that your stomach and boobs will be super itchy (because they're growing and the skin is stretching) but they don't mention the bum. My blobs (thanks autocorrect, I'll keep that change) and stomach have been fine, but ooohhhh my butt. I guess my boobs and stomach were already big so they don't have to grow as much, and I basically didn't have a butt. Whatever the reason, it's really embarrassing. I can't sit still - or even sit! And people behind me get a real show hahaha. #awkward

Never Road Trip With A Pregnant Woman

You know how girls are the worst to go on road trips with because they don't give any advance before they have to go to the bathroom? They're just like, "Hey, can you stop at the next rest stop? I'm going to pee my pants!" And the driver is like, "we just passed one five minutes ago! I asked and no one had to go!" And the girl is like, "I didn't have to go 5 minutes ago, but I have to go NOW!" Have you experienced this? Well, now imagine that girl had a small human sitting on her bladder. 

When I have to go to the bathroom, I have to go IMMEDIATELY. Like there are times when I'm at work (I'm a bank teller and my bank specializes in having the best customer service, which includes small wait times), and I suddenly have to pee SO badly that I am in physical pain, but we have a line around the corner so I cannot leave. I have often thought my bladder would pop like a water balloon.  

But what's worse is I also feel like I have no warning before I gotta go #2. I'll wake up some mornings or in the middle of the night and ruuuun to the bathroom because oh. My. Gosh. I'm. Going. To. Poop. My. Pants. 

Before being pregnant, I never had this problem. And I was the fastest pooper (my husband was always amazed that I took the same amount of time in the bathroom whether I was going #1 or #2). Then all of a sudden, I'm a sprinter. 

Pregnancy does straaaaaange things.